opinion

Things That People Say

~ erikvp18 ~ Leave a comment

Something came to my mind today that got me thinking.  People say a lot of things and I would bet a good chunk of those things aren’t nice.  Growing up I wasn’t the most popular kid or best looking or the smartest.  I had a lot of friends and I knew a lot of people but I only talked to and hung out with a close few.  So when I heard a song on the radio it got me thinking about when I was younger (or even now for that matter) about the things that not only I say but others.

When I was sitting there thinking about it I got a little upset.  I’ve said a lot of things that I probably shouldn’t have said and worse yet is that I didn’t apologize for what I said later on.  It just continued on until it “vanished”.  And then I realized that it doesn’t ever “vanish”.  I thought about things that people have said to me and teased me about.  I started to feel upset because I remembered that those things did hurt me, even the times it was said in jest.

I was/am self conscious about certain things about myself and when they are pointed out it doesn’t make me feel good. And I am sure it is like this for everyone else.  And then there are things that I am not self conscious about but others might be so just because I am not self conscious about it doesn’t mean I should make jokes about that to others because they might be.  You may not think that what you are saying will have much of an impact if any on people, I know that’s what I thought. But now I am sitting here writing this and some of the things that I have been thinking about was from ten-plus years ago.

There have been times I said something and then felt horrible enough to apologize later and I am glad I did those couple times because if it made me feel that awful about just saying it imagine how that person you said it to felt. I still feel bad about those words.  I know we all can’t be perfect and won’t always say the right things but I think we need to start to apologize more, understand that the smallest words could have the biggest impact.  Tell your friends and loved ones that you love them and let them know how much they mean to you.  I don’t do that enough either.  I have started to write letters to my relatives (near and far) to let them know that I love them and appreciate them.

There is a lot of hate in this world.  Bullies are in school and online.  People are hurting and we can do something about it.  We need to have the courage to say something, get out of our comfort zone to step in and let people know that there are people that care.

Being Too Competitive In Life

~ erikvp18 ~ Leave a comment

Can a person be too competitive in sports?  And if so, when does it become an issue?  I think I have the answer to these questions that I derived from personal experience.  Yes, I believe that a person can be too competitive and it becomes an issue when the sport is no longer fun and if they start to ruin the game for others.  Now, competitiveness is not only in sports though it is more visible in sports than other aspects of life.  If you think about it, you compete in all aspects of your life. School, work, video games, even shopping.  You are always competing to get the best grades, job, salary, score, prices.  It’s not really a bad thing, it is just the way that society has evolved.

So when does being competitive become negative?  Well, when it comes to sports, if you are no longer enjoying yourself during the activity then maybe it is because you are too competitive and it has ruined the experience for you.  A personal example for me would be bowling.  I will admit that when it comes to certain sports or games or people that I become too competitive and it ruins the experience for me and possibly others.  Last night during my bowling league I realized that even though I was bowling pretty decent despite not throwing the ball very well that I was frustrated and annoyed with my teammates because we were losing.  Not only were we losing, but we were losing to people that did not throw good balls at all.  I cannot stand losing and especially losing to people that I know I am a lot better than.  So right there, I am not having fun and my competitiveness was making me upset with the other team (and my team) just because they aren’t as good as me but are winning.  At the end of the night, I expressed my displeasure about losing to them to my teammate and friend who was with me (quietly because I did not want the other team to hear me) and left right away without congratulating them.

An example of being too competitive versus certain people would be my cousin.  He is a couple years younger than me so I really hate losing in anything to him.  There was a time we were playing pictionary. It was me and our friend versus my cousin and my girlfriend.  I became very frustrated with my friend for not being able to draw very well or guess a picture I was drawing that it started to show I was upset in my demeanor and disrupted the fun of the actual game.  Now, I am not saying the whole game wasn’t fun, but there was a portion of the game that became very awkward and unenjoyable.

I know that I am very competitive and even too competitive, especially when it comes to things that shouldn’t be about winning and losing but about being fun.  And that is when being too competitive becomes negative.  It isn’t about fun or enjoying time with your family and friends. It is only about winning and nothing else matters.

When you reach the point of being too competitive what can you do about it?  Well, that is the part I am trying to figure out.  I would think that you need to realize that it isn’t always about winning and losing, that you can still enjoy yourself and have fun even if you are losing.  Also, realize that everyone is human and prone to making mistakes including yourself.  I am still maturing and learning to try to enjoy what I do and not make it all about winning but at the same time I do not want to lose being competitive because that is what drives me to become better.  It is what drove me to do better in college, to work harder and become the baseball player that I became.  Though it didn’t turn out like I hoped it helped me prove to myself that I have what it takes to do better in my life when I work at it instead of just waiting for things to happen.